Forget money, fame, and power, I, tragically, was born with an all consuming need for chocolate chip cookies. When I was younger I scoffed at people with addictions. I couldn’t understand why they just didn’t quit. Drink too much? Easy, stop. Nose candy for breakfast? No problemo, save your money and buy bonds. Chocolate chip cookies? I could quit anytime I want, I simply choose to continue to purchase said item as my small way of keeping the economy going and defeating terrorists everywhere who want to destroy our way of life, which, I can only assume, would mean a ban on nature’s finest creation. I think I go running most mornings just so I can rationalize eating them later. I wonder if this is how marathoners do it? If I keep this up I could be doing 26 miles and three bags of cookies a day.
At this point I don’t know if I need an intervention or a tall glass of milk.