I tried to cook yesterday. Bake really. Actually, all I managed to do was turn the stove on. How hard can that be? Note to self: in the future, do not put flammable oven mitts in the lower broiler just inches from an open flame. The pizza I had been planning on cooking stayed in the freezer while the charred and flaming oven mitts were first doused with water then run down the stairs to be dumped on the sidewalk to the amusement and consternation of the mail lady, cable guy, and various passers by. I met a lot of my neighbors in the building as they stuck their heads out to see if the apartment really was on fire or if I was just trying to cook again.
This morning I found six takeout menus in front of my door. Subtle.
Okay, I was trying not to chuckle this morning, but now I am 😀
Mexican, two chicken places, a sushi restaurant, an Indian one and a delivery service for McDonalds.
I ordered from the Indian place.
McDonalds delivers??? That is frightening.
And yikes for the combusting oven mitts!
In the Big Apple you can get anything delivered, just ask former governor Spitzer 🙂
I am so not laughing.
Really. This is me, not laughing.
Not laughing at all….
Oh sure, it’s all fun and games until someone loses a pair of oven mitts…which begs the question shouldn’t oven mitts be flame resistant? These suckers kept burning even after I poured water on them. I think they were just heavy duty cotton or something. I took pictures of what was left. Just charred rags by the end.
They used to make flame resistant oven mitts. Asbestos was the bachelor’s best friend. Now you have to go to places like Bed, Bath and Beyond and get special silicon oven gloves. I think they might melt, but they won’t burn.
But yeah, most oven mitts act like couch cushions or a mattress. Getting the fire to go out is almost impossible.
Nope. Me neither. *stocks up on menus for neighbours*
I did a quick count and I currently have 33 take out menus in my cupboard (they take the place of cans and boxes and what not). The big question now is do I get a new pair of oven mitts and try again, or just turn off the gas and use the stove as a place to store more menus? Oh, and all those little packages of plastic knives, forks, salt, pepper and a napkin that you accumulate with every order
Oh dear. I’m very sorry to hear that. But why fight the obvious message that the universe is trying to send you? Every yuppie in town wants to be a gourmet cook. I say, let them, and sink into your role as appreciative supporter, ready with a consoling hand and extensive expertise in takeout ordering.
Will it cheer you up to know that I finished A Darkness Forged in Fire last night, and I loved it? (thanks,
, for recommending it!) I’m definitely giving a copy to my father for Christmas. Is Book 2 coming out any time soon?
It does feel like the hints are getting more obvious, and I do like the idea of being on call to help all these chefinistas consume the fruits of their hard earned skills in the kitchen. And I do have over ten restaurants on speed dial.
That does cheer me up, though it does little to get the smokey smell out of my apartment, but still, thanks. Book II, The Light of Burning Shadows, hits stores the end of June 2009 in North America and I believe around the same time in the UK.