Resolutions, I’ve made a few, but this one terrifies me

It’s simple, it’s straight forward, and it will be the hardest thing I’ve ever attempted. My resolution? Be honest with myself. About everything. Sounds easy enough when I write it, but the ramifications loom before me like thunder clouds. This is going to hurt. The thing of it is, I know I won’t succeed, not completely, and I’m ok with that. We need a certain degree of self-deception and rationalization in order to survive in this world, but that rationalizing begets more until it’s easy to view black as white and up as down.

I had a hell of a 2009, and through its many vagaries what was left to bring forward into 2010 was my realization that if I can’t be honest with myself then everything that follows will be skewed, refracting my life through a succession of prisms until I won’t be able to recognize myself in the mirror. Ok, that’s a bit melodramatic, but you get the point.

So here’s to 2010 being the most frightening and rewarding year yet.

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