Tourist slaloming in Central Park

There is a transportation hierarchy when in Central Park and it goes something like this:

1. Taxis (they’re NY taxis, ’nuff said)
2. Horses (they’re big and slow and pull tourists around)
3. NYC Parks golf carts (see #2, minus the tourists)
4. Rickshaws (oh so bloody annoying as they park in the running lanes)
5. Cyclists (useful for blocking all of the above)
6. Runners faster than you (show offs)
7. Runners/you (marvelous creatures)
8. Runners slower than you (less marvelous, but they do provide a nice ego boost as you pass them)
9. People running with baby carriages (nothing like terrorizing your infant before work)
10. People walking dogs (take Lassie to a farm already)
11. Squirrels (smarter than most of the above, except runners of course)
12. Tourists (if only I believed in god then I’d know they were all going to burn…)

Ok, Central Park really isn’t the war zone I make it out to be, but when you step inside you need to know the score. Taxis will pass other taxis IN THE RUNNING AND BIKE LANES. That fact that there are runners and cyclists in said lanes never quite computes with them. Cyclists will yell at runners to get out of the way. Runners in turn curse out tourists, especially those that tend to gather in a group in the middle of the road. Dog walkers, at least those that do so in the running and biking lanes, are universally loathed (in part because those leashes are deadly and in part because based on the size of the dog they clearly have a bigger apartment than you do).

On the plus side, Central Park isn’t Times Square.

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