The terror that is the MRI

I’ve had surgery, everything from having my jaw wired back into place to removing a perforated and gangrenous appendix (the doctor’s first words to me after the surgery “When you’re in that much pain it’s ok to scream. It’s what lets us know you’re really sick). I crashed a car going 160km (99 mph for you non metric types) and remember thinking “that’s a very large pillar of concrete accelerating at my windshield which strongly suggests I’m about to-” My heart’s been so broken that I wonder if I’ll ever try again. At different times in my life a knife, a gun, and a pitbull have been waved in my face (ok, the pitbull was more menacing my knee caps, but it felt like my face). And I checked off the donor box on my license thereby dooming myself to be harvested for parts, minus my appendix, but you wouldn’t have wanted that anyway. Still, I don’t think I’ve lived through an experience like I did this morning. Two hours in an MRI is not for me. I did deal with it, but it took so much force of will to endure that hours later I’m still lost. The intensity of the experience was so strong that I could have cut steel with the thoughts in my mind. It felt like a near death experience looping over and over and over. If there’s ever a next time I want enough drugs to kill three rock & roll singers and a horse.

  1. Anonymous

    I went through something similar injury wise. Well, mine has lasted four surgeries (I’m still not fixed properly) and a few years, as well as the mandatory giving-up of several activities which absolutely broke my heart. I was in an MRI for 2 hours a few times, as well. I can’t speak for you but I can sympathize. People don’t realize how hard situations like that are unless they’ve been there before and when you’re stuck in that tube told not to move it seems like the very thing that stuck you there is stuck on “repeat.” It’s like 2 hours in hell.

    I can’t believe you lived through an accident like that. I’m amazed and I hope that everything gets better for you. It takes time (sometimes years) and it’s an emotional road full of heartbreak and ups and downs… but its worth it at the end (what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger and all that).

    I know you don’t have a clue who I am so this comment might be weird, but I really feel for you. I know that’s no help…. but still. I hope things look up soon.

    – Sarah

    • admin

      Hi, Sarah:

      Empathy is a wonderful thing, it does help, and I thank you. Your accident sounds much worse, however, and I am so sorry you’ve had to suffer not just the pain, but having to give up things you love to do.

      Here’s hoping neither of us have to experience an MRI again.



  2. dadiceguy

    I have only had one MRI, but way too many hospital stays. Nurses always make sure I dont need pain meds, but I tend to be stoic. Only twice I asked for pain meds. First when my shoulders hurt so bad I want to beat my fists against the bed after heart valve surgery. And second when I had heart stints and they had to go in the same place twice. Once to diagnose and second time to place stints. That time I needed morphine just to get to sleep.

    • admin

      First, yikes, that sounds viciously painful, and second, I wonder what that stoic reaction is about. I do the same thing to the point of causing myself pain and anguish. Are we just stupid? Part of me thinks I’m brave, part of me doesn’t want to look weak, and deep deep down I think there’s a part of me that actually wants to experience it all raw and horrible to feel the incredible high of awareness…if that makes any sense.

      Hope your ticker is working well after the repair work!

      • dadiceguy

        For me its just I dont like being dependent on a pain med. Like my head clear. When the pain is too much even to watch TV then I take the meds.


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