I went down to the hotel breakfast buffet this morning and came face to face with the dreaded bagel topper monstrosity. I don’t know what exactly it consists of, but I think I recognized a cheese like substance with possible bacon bits and other flotsam and jetsam all fused on to the top of a soggy, grease laden bagel. There was a time in the not too distant past that I would have given it a try, but thanks to an intervention a few months ago those days are gone. I was going to take a picture so you could see what I’m talking about, but then it occurred to me you may be eating while reading this, and I don’t want to induce regurgitation. Suffice it to say, if you ever see a serving platter labeled “bagel topper” don’t open the lid, just run.